Meet Gorgonna

It’s time you met my daughter, Gorgonna. She’s three months old today (already!), and I feel like a proper introduction is long overdue.

Gorgonna, daughter of Mostly Metal Dad, looking grim in her Hello Kitty onesie.

No, Gorgonna is not her real name. What, you really think the dudes in Mayhem were given names like “Necrobutcher” and “Hellhammer” at birth? Stage names are a metal tradition. I’ve always wanted one but never had the right band for it; the least I can do is live vicariously through my child.

And why wouldn’t I? She’s the best baby I know. I’m biased, sure, but I have other reasons to think she’s great. For one, she is literally a Goat.

Let me break that down for you.

I Believe You’re the Devil’s Child

My daughter Gorgonna was born in 2015. According to the Chinese Zodiac, that makes her sign a Goat (or Ram, depending on what restaurant you’re eating at).

Now, as you know, the goat is a traditional metal symbol. We’ve seen all sorts of goat-related imagery on countless metal album covers, from Bathory to Show No Mercy, to the genre-stirring Welcome to Hell. It goes right up there with the pentagram and the devil horn hand sign. It’s sometimes even found within a pentagram and throwing the devil horns. The Goat gets around.

The goat became a satanic symbol when the “Sabbatic Goat” or “Sigil of Baphomet” or “Whatever the Fuck” became adopted by the Church of Satan. I don’t really endorse any of that one way or the other, but the goat, like the pentagram, are on lots of classic metal albums. The symbols aren’t solely theirs anymore, may not have been to begin with, because it’s metal as fuck. It’s cool and dark and edgy and I like it from the same reason our metal forefathers adopted it for their own purposes.

Whether or not this is the same Goat that graces the dining tables of every Chinese restaurant in America is something I can only guess at.

Babies = 666

So back to Gorgonna. What do we do with all this? Her being a Goat means she could possibly be Satan. That’s pretty metal. I mean, I think I’ll like her more as my daughter, but Damien’s folks didn’t really get much if a choice, did they?

I’ll be honest, I don’t put much faith in signs, but I’ll be keeping my eye on her. The second I notice she’s sprouted horns and is asking me to join her unholy crusade, you’ll be the first to know.

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